Just thank the lord

“People, get ready. There’s a train a-coming. You don’t need no ticket. You just get on board.” –Curtis Mayfield, People get ready

I STILL can’t get the grip of how the number of “ingrates” in this country has grown in just two short years.

Imagine the gall of these fault-finders. Can’t they see that Digong Dada is hard at work? Can’t they see that now, because of the 16 million “enlightened” citizens, we are better off, as a country and as individuals?

Don’t you believe me? Let me enumerate at least three things this administration has been “astonishingly good” at the past two years.

This regime has been busy unclogging our swamped out court dockets. It has been busy helping the judicial branch. The Philippine National Police puts the number of drug personalities killed in legitimate operations at 3,451 as of July 26 last year.

This figure, the police say emphatically, does not include the vigilante killings. Other human rights advocacy groups have their own number of drug suspects killed but what do they know, right? It’s not like they can actually count how many people have been killed simply because they didn’t kill them. So, I’m sticking with the PNP figures. Now, that is reliable data.

Imagine how liberating this 3,451 deaths to the lower courts are? Judges can now schedule more important cases. They don’t have to settle cases regarding drug use. Kudos!

On another front, didn’t the President promise a train system for Mindanao? Well, he did one “better”. He gave us the Train (Tax Reform for Acceleration and Inclusion) for the entire archipelago to “enjoy”.

Look, with this Train, the government does not only make your take-home pay tax-free, it also helps you watch your blood sugar. It doesn’t matter if it’s your only source of energy because you don’t have a regular income on account of having absolutely no job security being contractual, this regime will tax your sugar anyway.

Under this Train, drinks containing high-fructose corn syrup are levied at P12 per liter while excise rate on drinks containing caloric or non-caloric sweetener is P6 per liter.

Isn’t that great? With or without you meaning to shape up, this government will do it for you by raising the tax on sugar. The same thing could be said for the sugar barons, but to hell with them. This regime doesn’t care for them. Digong Dada has said over and over again that he hates oligarchs and the elite.

This Train simplifies the estate and donor’s tax, increases the excise tax on petroleum products, as well as with automobiles, and expands the value-added tax. Let’s see the oligarchs and elite claw their way out of that! Woot woot!

Don’t you believe me? You can check it out for yourself at http://www.dof.gov.ph/taxreform/. There, you could see that I used the same exact words they used.

This regime’s propaganda team (read: PCOO) even touted it as the “best Christmas gift to Filipinos ever.” Now, these people wouldn’t lie to our face, would they? What with their stellar embodiment of the truth.

Okay, that may be taking it too far. There have been instances where this team of intellectuals and pundits have spun the President’s pronouncements in the past. But hey, they do it so we, the people, could understand what Digong Dada is actually saying. They are looking out for us, that way.

Speaking of propaganda, if it hadn’t been for PCOO assistant secretary Margaux Uson’s booboo on the location of Mt. Mayon, our visual artists would not have been able to flex their creativity with photo editing software that much. See? The faux pas ushered in a massive interest where the friggin’ volcano really is from this generation of entitled half-wits and meme-dependent truth-seekers.

Palace spokesman Harry Roque eloquently argued this point by saying last Sunday: “Kung walang fake news, hindi natin malalaman ano ang true news. Let there be a free marketplace of ideas.”

I didn’t know that Roque is heavily into dialectics. Like, how would you know white if you haven’t seen black? How would you thresh out the truth if you haven’t heard the lies surrounding that truth? This argument makes perfect sense. Sieg Heil!

The killings, the Train, and this regime’s propaganda team are all for the “benefit” of every freedom-loving Filipino to enjoy.

Going back to my opening quote from Curtis Mayfield’s “People get ready, I suggest we stop our whining and just enjoy this regime’s Train ride to, err, somewhere. Let’s forget about critical thinking and what it’s for. Hell, let’s just give up thinking altogether and just thank the “lord.” Pfft.

Of opinion and judgment

“Salvation is offered, redemption indeed is promised at a low price of the surrender of your critical faculties.” -Christopher Hitchens to Tony Blair, Munk Debate 2011

AS you may have caught on from reading My Wit’s End, I will keep on coming back to the theme of organized religion and belief systems. It is not so much that I hate religion, it is more in the fact that it keeps people from evolving to their potentials. It is a self-limiting crutch.

A fortnight ago, I had a weird philosophical night of discussion and merlot with fellow columnist Rhona Canoy. Among the many things we talked about was the subject of truths, specifically on the subjectivity of truths.

Of course, Rhona and I were on the opposite sides of the fence on this one. Well, truth be told, I held on my definition of truth until she gave her Yoda-ish logic on the subject matter.

I told her right away that there shouldn’t be versions of any truth. I pointed out to gravity or gravitation as an example of a truth. You cannot possibly argue your way around that truth. It’s not like you can debate away gravity’s attraction to you from all other objects, from atoms to photons, from planets and stars.

She debunked my argument by simply saying that gravity is a scientific law. Laws of physics are hardly debatable after all. Unless, of course, you’re from another plane of the multiverse that we’re all in.

For the purpose of our debate that night, she added, truths are based on the perspective of the observer. Perspective, meaning, it depends on the upbringing and all the biases formed during the formative years. This includes how we are taught how or what to think.

I realized that I inadvertently confused truths to facts. My bad. So, I chose to shut up and listen to what Rhona had to say on “social” truths.

She gave a simple exercise to point this out. She held out her glass of merlot and asked me if we are in agreement that she is, in fact, holding out a glass of merlot. The answer is yes, I agreed. However, I couldn’t be positively sure that what she was looking at from where she was sitting was the same exact thing I was looking at from where I was sitting. Ergo, the void for interpretations of the truth that she was holding a glass of merlot.

The truth that we were talking now is actually malleable.

So, after I picked up my jaw from the floor, I likened this understanding to the difference between opinions and judgments.

All netizens on social media platforms also confuse the two, all the time. We treat opinions and judgments as one and the same. It is not.

On one hand, opinions actually reserve a room for doubt. That is because the observers spew out opinions on any given subject based on the facts they have gathered. So given the limitations of an observer’s access to facts, the observers tend to be open for corrections or realignment to their observations which they present as opinions.

Opinions, although based on facts, are malleable because no can really gather all the facts. Opinions, however, open avenues for discussion because the recipient might have some facts that the observer has left out or was not privy to.

On the other hand, judgments are rigid. Although judgments are also based on facts, there is another variable at play in formulating these. How they were raised to nurture age-old biases also comes into play. In this way, judgments are like the belief systems people have. It may not be supported by hard facts but you grew with it anyway.

Judgment is an opinion hardened by hubris.

I, too, am guilty of this. As I’ve told Rhona that night, I have always kept an open mind and reserve judgment, and so I form opinions. However, it is that hubris that sometimes makes me think of rebuttals while other persons are still presenting their opinions. That is a behavioral tic that I consciously want to wean out from.

After two bottles of merlot, we came to an agreement that critical thinking is key to evolving from our biases and rigid perspectives.

Critical thinking in the sense that one should realize where the observer is coming from. The peripherals in that observer’s life that made them form opinions and judgments. Critical thinking, to me then, is not just limited to scrutinizing the facts on which the judgment is based on but also their perspectives why they formed these.

So, the next time you come across a person with judgments, instead of shutting them out or bashing them, try your earnest to understand where they’re coming from. Take solace in the thought that nobody can really “judge” you into accepting other people’s opinions.

Embrace boredom

“When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.” -Jon Kabat-Zinn

NOBODY seems to be bored anymore. Everywhere I look, people seem to be tinkering with something. You rarely see anybody just sit on a bench in the park just taking in the moment.

I’m bringing this up because at least two of my friends sent me a private message of a link on what stress can do to the brain. My immediate response was that people burn out because they rarely have time to be bored.

I present that the culprit of this modern phenomena is the smartphone.

According to Suchi Rudra in her article “Boredom”: Embrace it or escape it, “the average smartphone user checks their phone at least 150 times a day more than half that time it’s not because someone is texting or calling.”

We just fidget with it. We check it when we’re riding the taxi, jeepney or bus. We check it while we are sipping our favorite beverages. Hell, I bet you see this all the time: people walking while texting or worse, posting on Facebook and tweeting something. The smartphone has turned people into zombies.

There have been movies positing that a zombie apocalypse will be brought about by some groundbreaking drug (i.e. World War Z, I am Legend). Well, I submit the zombie apocalypse is here and it is brought to us by the ever-dependable smartphone.

We have been distracted so much and engaged with the inanities of social media that we stopped listening to our thoughts. The least of it is letting our mind wander.

I admit. I have become one of the smartphone zombies out there. Although, I still have the common sense to stop walking when replying to a text message.

Still, this disturbed me.

Last week, I was meeting a friend from UP Diliman at VIP Hotel and I told Da King to drop me off at Cogon. I thought of riding a motorela to the hotel. But the thought that I will inexplicably be fidgeting with my smartphone once my ass lands on that seat made me decide otherwise.

I decided to walk from Cogon to the hotel. I walked through the streets Doña Nieves, Domingo Velez, Corrales, then Monte Carlo. I passed by the old Iglesia Filipina Independiente Cathedral.

While walking, my smartphone was securely tucked in my pocket and I didn’t even stop for a smoke. I must say that the walk did me good. The flood of memories came rushing in my mind.

I remember playing in a junk shop at Doña Nieves street. I remember biking with my cousin the entire length of Corrales street, avenue, and extension when I was still in grade school. I remember meeting football friends in Monte Carlo. Those guys there really, I mean really love football. And of course, the compound at Domingo Velez where I practically grew up. I remember the fruitcakes that Lola Puring would bring out at about this time of the year.

Boredom and burnout are correlated as some psychology books suggest. Burnout is the result of doing too much and boredom is a result of doing too little.

So a thought came to my mind. Maybe boredom isn’t as bad after all. All the structured thinking you do at work and even playing Wordscapes can tire your brains out at some point. Smartphones have become the convenient alibi to avoid our deepest inner thoughts.

Organized religion has also contributed to this fear of being idle. Remember the saying, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”? I say being idle once in while lets your mind romp through trains of thought. I bet you can even strike a brainstorm.

When you feel you’re starting to get bored, don’t pick up your smartphone. Don’t pick up anything, not even a book.

Embrace boredom. Your mind will automatically defragment the “bad sectors” of your hard drive (read: brain) from the constant structured thinking.

Again, embrace boredom or risk burning out too young.

Doggone year

“Dogs lick their balls because they can.” -Bill Burr, You people are all the same

SINCE it is the year of the dog, I think it’s only fitting that my first My Wit’s End will discuss the dogs of war, hound politicians, and its loyal mutts barking in their respective home fronts.

This is going to be a fun blind item article because I don’t even have to give you a clue who these people are in this administration. Somehow, you’ll supply your own in your head. They are that prevalent in this administration.

To be fair to Digong Dada though, these kinds of people were also present in the past administrations, even during the Commonwealth days of what would be the Republic now. So much so, that after at least a full year under his administration, I am wondering about the change he promised.

All the bluster during the campaign of eradicating drugs and corruption now appear to be just an intestinal gas from a publicity hound.

Let’s start dissecting these kinds of characters with a sort of glossary. The fun part will be, you, my dear readers, supplying who specifically these people are in your head. Whether they are the same people I have in mind does not really matter.

These characters: dogs of war, hound politicians, and their mutts can be collectively called pimps. However, there are certain subtleties or nuances, if you will, in how they operate.

The phrase “dogs of war” was first spoken by Mark Antony in Act 3, Scene 1, line 273 of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. “Cry ‘Havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war.”

For the Trekkies, the exact same Shakespearean line was uttered by the character of Odo played by Rene Auberjonois in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Since the term was used first by a British bard, it is only fair that we start with how the English Oxford dictionary defines the phrase.

“The dogs of war (phrase), literary: The destruction accompanying military conflict.”

However, we are not using this phrase in a literary context. For the purpose of this article, we are using this phrase as a type of language that is more common in speech than writing and more specifically restricted to a particular context. Hence, we will use the English dictionary of Slangs.

Online Urban Dictionary defines dogs of war as “A somewhat derogation term used for mercenaries, or soldiers for hire. Generally describes ex-soldiers or combat experts that offer either direct service or military training in exchange for money.”

I know what you’re thinking right after you read that preceding paragraph. You are probably thinking “Marawi City.” The supposed liberation of Marawi City was P3 billion to P4 billion easy. I didn’t pull this figure out of thin air. This figure is based on actual pronouncements of people in government.

This administration’s penchant for waging “wars” on almost anything the dogs of war cannot help it.

Now, where do you think the commission of all those purchases of bullets, ordnance, rockets, bombs, the fuel for tanks and fighter jets, to name a few, go? Katching!

Let’s go to the next character, the hound politicians.

Merriam-Webster defines a hound politician as “a mean despicable person.” While Online Urban Dictionary defines it as “a man-whore, pimp, or player.”

Anent to the hound politicians is that they are, for the most part, also publicity hounds which are a slang for someone who seeks to have the attention of the public constantly focused on him or herself, typically by means of attracting media coverage. A hound politician is also a compulsive womanizer, an inveterate schemer, and thinks only for its own agenda.

Now, I wonder who could these people be? There are so many people in Barong nowadays seeking public approbation without practically anything to back it up (read: the war on drugs and corruption).

These people are usually in the limelight of national polity. That leaves us with the last character in our list — the hound politicians’ mutts.

Again, using the Online Urban Dictionary, a mutt is an informal noun. It is defined as “humorous derogatory or a person regarded as stupid or incompetent.”

My late father Emilio used to define these people as “persons who are too big for their britches.”

Now, I need not name names here but we see these people on TV, hear them on the radio, and see and hear them online.

These are the apologists. The supposed “translators” of what their hound politicians’ pronouncements actually mean, like we are the stupids in this equation.

I have a deep connection with these politicians’ mutts. For those who are following me on social media platforms, you can see them expertly hounding almost anything I post. They screen capture it and put their own twist on what I posted. These people are not your average garden-variety trolls, mind you. These mutts employ trolls. In a way, they are slightly further up the leash of command.

There you go. The characters that will regale us with their antics and stunts during this dog show of a year. They may not be pedigree but still, I regard these people as wayward souls who had pathetic pasts and are only making the most of what these recent doggone years could offer.

So, here’s to the dogs of war, hound politicians, and mutts: Raise the woof!