Garbage in, garbage out

IF irony had a landfill, Cagayan de Oro’s new garbage contractor, Standard Systems, would have just dumped the first load.

On its grand debut as the city’s newest waste management savior, Standard Systems managed to prove that trash collection is, indeed, an art — an abstract one. 

Within 24 hours, its shiny new fleet was already making headlines: one truck crashed, another couldn’t fit through the city’s narrow streets, and a third — the star of the show — reportedly lacked an OR-CR. Because what better way to haul garbage than with an unregistered vehicle?

This, of course, from the same administration that promised a “qualified service provider to collect, haul, and dispose of municipal solid waste and perform street sweeping across all 80 barangays,” as the Bids and Awards Committee proudly stated. 

The City Local Environment and Natural Resources Office even assured us that “this contract seeks to maintain the city’s cleanliness, safeguard public health, and minimize environmental hazards.”

Maybe they meant emotional hazards, because residents are certainly feeling trash trauma now.

The Terms of Reference (TOR) also required that “all trucks must have LTO registration, GPS, warning devices, sound systems, and proper markings.” 

It’s hard to miss the poetry there — a registered truck requirement for a contractor whose truck can’t even pass an LTO checkpoint. 

Perhaps the missing registration is part of a “minimalist” compliance strategy.

Then there’s the matter of those 10-wheeler dump trucks. According to the TOR, Standard Systems must field “20 units of 10-wheeler dump trucks (22 cubic meters)” to serve the city. 

A noble idea, if Kagay-an’s inner barangays weren’t built like a maze for matchbox cars. Watching a 10-wheeler attempt a U-turn in Macasandig or Lapasan is like watching a whale try to swim in a kiddie pool — majestic, but tragic.

And the pièce de résistance? The accidents. Multiple, on day one. Because nothing says “operational readiness” like trash trucks colliding with parked cars before they even reach the dump. You can almost hear the city’s P90-million project budget whisper, “I told you so.”

Still, let’s be fair. Maybe it’s all part of the plan — a high-stakes performance art piece titled “The Hauling of Accountability.” 

After all, the TOR warns that “violations such as missed collection schedules, uncovered trucks, or unclean vehicles incur P5,000 per day per violation.” 

By that measure, the city might finally earn something back from this contract — in penalties.

Meanwhile, Kagay-anons, who were promised “daily garbage collection and street sweeping citywide” and a minimum of “315 tons per day” of trash cleared, now find themselves tiptoeing around plastic mountains, wondering if they should just rent their own tricabs to finish the job.

Kagay-an didn’t want much — just clean streets and working trucks. What it got instead was a crash course in how not to run a waste management system. 

But hey, at least the garbage isn’t lonely. 

It’s got plenty of company now — bureaucracy, incompetence, and a few dented parked cars.

Because here in the City of Golden Friendship, even the trash gets a warm welcome.