BREAKING NEWS: Government does its job; officials offended by lack of coverage

SITIO KURUKUNGHO — A rare and miraculous event was witnessed today that shook the entire nation: Elected government officials, without hesitation, actually did their jobs.

According to “unconfirmed reports” (because no one wants to believe it), several mayors, governors, and congressmen were spotted in their offices — not to film themselves on TikTok while dancing — but to sign documents and attend to the public service duties they swore to uphold before the Bible and the voters during the last election.

However, instead of rejoicing, the faces of our beloved and esteemed leaders turned gloomy.

Lack of ‘fanfare’

In an exclusive interview with Hon. Ronald B. Utalo, spokesperson for the “United Association of Sensitive Officials,” he expressed their deep resentment.

“Sakit kaayo sa among buot,” said Utalo, wiping his tears with a tissue purchased using confidential funds.

“Nag-approve mi og budget para sa kanal. Nag-on time mi sa flag ceremony. Pero hain ang media? Hain ang mga reporter? Nganong walay niabot aron himuon kining front page news? Unsa na lang ang pulos sa among pagtrabaho kung dili mi daygon sa Facebook,” Utalo asked.

The report adds that many officials are grumbling because, for the past few years, they believed that doing the “bare minimum” or simply following their job description should be met with a fireworks display, a brass band, and a “Thank You” tarpaulin on every corner of Sitio Kurukungho.

This image is created by Gemini Pro

Public reaction

While the officials are eagerly awaiting their standing ovation, the public remains “confused.”

“Ha?! Balita diay na,” asked Emilio K. Sahos, a taxpayer accustomed to government work being like a solar eclipse — rarely seen and blinding if you stare at it too long. 

“Abi nako trabaho man gud na nila? Nganong kinahanglan man ta mag-party kung buhaton nila ang ilang trabaho nga gisweldoan sa buhis sa katawhan,” added Sahos.

Official statement

To address this “Lack of Appreciation” crisis, the leadership has now issued a memorandum urging the public: if you see an official actually working, please, for goodness sake, stop, clap, and take a video with the caption: “Best Public Servant Ever #Blessed.”

As of press time, the investigation continues on how officials can cope with this new reality where working is... just work, and not an act of heroism.

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DISCLAIMER: This post is a work of SATIRE/PARODY and is intended for humor and entertainment only.

The events and “officials” mentioned are fictional. If they resemble an actual person in office, don’t blame me for your dirty mind. This is not a factual news report.